Never Again

never again so
Naive;
you sip and smile and laugh
oblivious to where you'll be in a few short hours
Alcohol;
the bile fills your throat
it burns as it rises
Mistakes;
your judgement slips momentarily
these brainless choices, inescapeable
Regret;
salty tears drip down your face,
your mascara stained cheeks, sore
Guilt;
unsettled and churning in your stomach
burned into your brain, it feels like forever
Blame;
try to push the fault aside
weave lies and insist on fabricated excuses
But there is no escape
We have to live with
The things we bring on ourselves
And carry us as we go
Forever darkened,
Forever changed,
Never Again.

-

In this eccentric reality
every little moment, action,
frame of time,
every single noun I see,
collides in perfect harmony,
flows to the sound of our music,
beautifully, artistically,
and is unexplored until now,
and everything becomes clear
and real
and strange
and every second of it is ours to share.
But I’d rather just take it in,
and watch my life pass by,
than to force things to go my way.
So I’ll sit in this strange, eccentric reality,
and laugh to myself.
Like acid,
it burns
a hole in my memory.
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way back here.

paper dreams

the graphite crumbles on this canvas
under my rage
and all i want to is show
the flowers in my hair
and the way you smiled
that day.
but it's fading in my memory
not yet captured where i can always rememeber.
when will we collide,
and not clash or shatter,
but join again?
on my paper dreams.
i can still see you, paling
i need to syncronize this lead
with my mind
before i'm out of time.

kurt.

Did anyone ever understand him,
His twisted thoughts and his good intentions,
his grotesque hobbies his beautiful words?
His sick imagination and his lyrical beauty
his distorted obsessions his purpose in his short life?
But we all love the way he changed the way she lived,
swept away the old thoughts replacing it with his
beautiful disease, his only purpose to create
the art she enjoys which overwhelmes her
and inspires her to be everything like him,
but nothing like the way he is.

-

I tear through this, my
fingers crossed, my eyes
closed, ready to live and ready
to die and I look into your eyes
and I realize you are the
same as me, it eats my
heart away, consumes
us both, we are broken, but
I leave not as I entered, my
eyes my mind open, my heart
prepared as you will always be
with me, my first, my only,
and I'll always remember
the songs, the stories,
the lies and the heartbreak
that made us who we are.

-

I wonder,
could her words be used for someone else,
could they explain the motive,
of he who comitted such a crime against you,
could they draw tears,
from her whose heart you broke,
could they bring joy,
to he who cried himself to sleep,
or are they just her words,
simply her own,
meaning nothing to the real world,
but everything to her,
her mind,
I wonder.

control

when she rested her head on his shoulder,
and their hands touched,
chills,
now were intwined,
she knew what was going to happen,
and she looked up into his eyes,
he was smiling,
he must have known too,
but it was just to late to stop it,
so she had to let herself go,
let go of all control,
their lips brushed,
then slowly,
so softly,
they began to kiss,
and then there was no turning back.

inexplicable

in so deep
its genuine
simple
but so complex
inexplicable
the special bond i share with you
untracable
how many people
share the same soul
a part of you is always with me
protected
deep inside of me
and a peice of me
is always with you
protected
from the harsh world
wrapped up in our love
artifical happiness
but pure
inexplainble
i love you

a night like this

because i know you'd love
the beautiful people
im walking down the street with now
our heels clicking on the wet asphalt
that sparkles in the artificial lights
but the sirens and the sounds
of the busy city
even in the moonlight
surrounds and consumes us
and drowns out the sound of our laughter
and just for one brief second i think of you
i wonder where you are now
back home in the peace and serenity
of our broken town
and i remember what we used to do on a night like this